Only a few days away for me to put on my wedding dress, my shoes, my veil, and walk down that aisle full of white roses on the way to the altar.
This romantic and a bit corny image, far from being enjoyable, filled me with anguish and anxiety.
I then opened both my computer and my heart to write a blog post where I shared why I wanted to get away from perfectionism and flow in harmony to enjoy my wedding.
I remembered that, since I was little, I’ve had flashes of being an apprehensive person. On Sunday night I couldn’t sleep just by thinking that in a few hours it would be Monday. Things like these have been part of my DNA. I live worrying for things to be perfect and get an A+. As if life were a grade sheet.
If at that time I’d been graded by my wedding’s planning, I would’ve failed. I think I would have received a D- due to the anguish that suffocated me, while thinking that everything should be spectacular.
Then a Tweet I´ve read one day came back to my mind. It said: “The search for ‘perfection‘ is a source of neurosis, a nefarious expectation of the imaginary attached to an illusory result. While the search for ‘fulfillment’ is a genuine hope of the Self: the projection of a loving impulse free of all attachment. ” Alfonso Ruiz Soto.
I loved that quote, seeming so assertive. Understanding it and putting it into practice in life could free us from anguish, releasing it as air balloons flying beyond the sky.
I then placed all my wedding concerns unto each balloon. The fear that people would have a bad time, the anguish of getting my dress dirty, the worrying that no supplier would arrive, or that my aunt who was living a terrible cancer, would die before the wedding. I went to a place in my mind surrounded by green, and I released each one of the balloons, embracing imperfection.
That’s how I understood that perfection is illusory. Imperfection, on the other hand, is wonderful because there you can enjoy a real scenario, as well as a life full of lights and shadows. Valuing the light and accepting the shadow.
About the author:
MARIANA VARGAS is Communications and Media Coordinator at Dalia Empower, as well as a journalist focused on the creation of key messages to promote organizations’ growth. She has worked in diverse media, and previously generated content for Facebook and Instagram for business. Currently collaborates in a news space that airs every Saturday through 88.9 fm. She admires creative people, and believes in art as a mean of expressing ideas, emotions and perceptions.