Plan a Life, not a Wedding

Are you familiar with this thought? Planning the wedding and not life is now a part of our society. Moreover, we are partly responsible of it being trendy nowadays … because we think that if we don’t do it, we are out, right?

The fact you may think it´s true is EXACTLY MY POINT. Our generation has a bully that is frenetic in this era, like never before. This bully, also known as “social pressure“, is way more dangerous due to the social networks and accesses they open to our personal lives.

This is the scene …

You are in your 20´s, and suddenly all your social networks become… RINGS! WEDDING! PREGNANCY! … Maybe you can ignore the first 10 or 20, but eventually you start giving in and questioning yourself if it’s not you the one who´s wrong. Next, anxiety knocks on your door while asking: Hey … what about you, ‘til when? And then, all off a sudden during family meals you are referred to as ‘the spinter’.

That is the cue you unconsciously expected in order to unleash series of automatic reactions which force you to stop your life and start planning your wedding.

Imagine this…

You plan your wedding through an entire year. To you, it’s the most important thing in the whole world, because you think that the only thing you came to do in this life is to have a perfect wedding and being the perfect bride (and while at it, letting everyone know how happy you are, of course).

If by chance you did good, where bullying and love met at the same time, you may be very happy and your wedding amazing. Pass the party, you fall asleep. The next morning you wake up, upload the photo of the wedding dance, your friends congratulate you. Now everyone knows that you’re married, and … now what?

We spend so much time doing things according to the status quo, causing us to neglect the most important thing, that one which we really want for ourselves. You can always comfort yourself and think: “at least I’m already married”. Was it not the most important thing?

Then we see the harsh reality …

What do we want to do? Where are we going to live? Could this man be a good dad? What will happen if I want to work? If I decide to stop working for a moment, will he be able to support me? Wait, wait … stop there, even before that there is a previous step … WHAT DO I WANT FOR MY LIFE?

So … take a deep breath, ignore the bully, plan your life, and once you have designed that path, the wedding will be way more fun.



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Twitter: @ivanamvdb

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